On Telethons and Sing-Alongs

Well, it's official. I've lost my mind.

Here I am on a Saturday morning, having just received amazingly beautiful flowers from my husband and children. Tonight, my husband is taking me on a date to our favorite restaurant, Enzo. I live in a warm house, have cars that run, we're both employed and have insurance and our kids are remarkably healthy and thriving. In short, we are blessed.

And yet I am convinced that the world is coming to an end at any moment and I don't have enough food storage to outlast the crisis. I'm contemplating a wheat grinder, thinking of putting one of those ginormous blue water barrels in my downstairs bathroom and stalking up on 4 gallons of vinegar to use as a cleaning supply because heaven forbid nuclear holocaust occurs and my plastic food containers aren't stain-free.

I think that the real problem is that I'm one of those all-or-nothing sorts of people. Either I go along my merry way convinced that all is well (hum along with me if you know the tune) or I'm sure that yet another version of "We Are the World" (two is never enough) will have to be done in order to save me and my family from sure demise. (Although could you NOT have Barbra Streisand on my version, cause she just bugs me. For heaven's sake, do something with your nails. Or, for that matter, Li'l Wayne, because he scares me a little.)

Now compare me in my mad state to several friends who are in the process of, or who have recently completed, adopting children. One couple adopted 7 kids from Ethopia, so that they are now parents of 11 beautiful children. Another friend is currently in Ethopia adopting 3 darling toddlers, bringing their kid count to 6. I have friends who, in addition to their own three lovely daughters, adopted three siblings whose mother was an addict and who themselves were born with varying levels of addiction. Add that to my friends who have grundles of college degrees and yet decided to stay home with their varying numbers of children, living on single incomes.

Obviously THEY do not feel that the world will continue to go on without having one single, solitary George Clooney-hosted fundraiser having to be held for them. And obviously THEY are not the doubting menace that I am...and probably never read blogs about having to live off of food storage for two years and doing it with Martha Stewart-like perfection. Or maybe THEY are just better prepared; for all I know, they probably do have wheat grinders and blue water barrels hidden in their perfectly decorated, everything matching homes.

Well, if you'll forgive me, I'll conclude for now. I think I need to go evaluate our backyard for installation of a bomb shelter. Or perhaps I'll just go shopping. I hear vinegar's on sale at Costco.